My mom is in Rexburg helping my sister take care of my brand new niece, and as such, I am the newly instated mom.
Motherhood tips from Tucker
1. Sesame Street is your friend.
2. So is Caillou and Curious George and The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That and pretty much channel 8 in general.
3. Wall Murals = BAD
4. Especially in Sharpie
5. If you don't feed the children, there is less poop to clean up.
6. It doesn't matter if the outfit matches. Or even if it belongs to that particular child. If the covering does its job and covers the child, that is good enough.
7. Naptime is your friend.
8. Pull-ups are your friend.
9. Pull-ups are your enemy if the child leaves a ......ahem... used.... pull-up in a corner where it quickly acquires mold in something that looks like a fungal carpet....
10. Letting the child go over to a friend's house is a very good decision.
11. Do not just look at the stuttering 4 year old uncomprehendingly and say yes. He might be asking if he can eat every fruit snack in the house.
12. Muddy buddies (puppy chow) are bad for breakfast. Mainly because they get EVERYWHERE. Whoever invented powdered sugar did NOT think of the eventuality of children scattering it everywhere.
13. Also don't leave the muddy buddies in a highly accessible spot, such as the counter. I recommend an armored vault.
14. Don't expect to get anything done. At all.
15. Don't leave the staples out. They'll get all over, and you'll bloody up your foot.
16. Bloodied up feet make bigger messes, so just keep the staples out of reach.
Also if you are my mom reading this while you are away in Idaho, I'm kidding. It's all in jest.
To anyone else...