A caustic yet humorous, sarcastic yet awesome, satirical yet special look into the mind of Tucker

A caustic yet humorous, sarcastic yet awesome, satirical yet ... special look into the mind of Tucker

Friday, May 13, 2011


Lent is a truly interesting Christian tradition.

In this period of time, each person chooses something that they will give up for the weeks until Easter.

"What are you giving up for lent?" is a constant question, and I've never in my life given up anything for lent. I've decided that I'll give up something for lent. Something good.

There are a couple different options here.

Option 1.  Give up sugar like every soccer mom in America.  (This implies that I will cheat on my commitment on a bi-weekly basis, then blame my family for exposing me to temptation.)

Option 2.  Give up facebook.

Nevermind. Dumb Idea.

Option 3.  Give up soda. Not an issue, I don't drink soda.

Option 4.  Give up using Jedi mind tricks. That's a dumber idea than giving up Facebook...

Option 5.  Give up eating Swiss Rolls. (BACK STORY! Tucker loves Swiss Rolls. They are so dang succulent, and I could eat so many of them that I would explode before I stop. They are a staple of my college diet) Given their stapleship, I will not give them up. That's pretty much like you giving up water. It's just not ok.

Ok friends, I've decided.

I'm going to give up something that I've wanted to give up for as long as I can remember wanting to give up anything.

Wait for it............


I'm going to give up giving things up. Who wants to give things up anyway? And if you're gonna give up something, why give up the fun things like pop and candy and cookies and stuff? Why doesn't a teacher give up giving homework? Why don't we ALL give up exercising? only 4.6 people (one of them is a midget) in America like to exercise.

I think Lent would be a happier time if I was in charge.

 As supreme dictator of lent, I declare that we all give up the practice of not giving Tucker money. This way, everyone is happy.

All you people are giving up things you like, and I'm GETTING things I like.

This is turning out better than Christmas.

1 comment:

  1. Wouldn't you giving up giving things up be an oxymoron? Kinda like a loop?