A caustic yet humorous, sarcastic yet awesome, satirical yet special look into the mind of Tucker

A caustic yet humorous, sarcastic yet awesome, satirical yet ... special look into the mind of Tucker

Monday, February 7, 2011

Issues I Have

As my roommates engaged in mortal kombat against a poor defenseless punching bag at 2 am last night, I thought of things that really annoy me. Like uproarious blood lusts cleaving the night with their raucous screaming.

BUTT that's not all.

I have a biting complaint about BYU to share.

It's called couples.

I have nothing against couples sitting down or driving, if the woman's pregnant, I've got nothing against her (mostly because pregnant people are so awesome) but GOSH DANG IT.

(Pause for breath)

When you hold hands and stretch your arms across the entire hallway and walk slower than is legal under the age of 65, you are begging me to red rover you like you've never been red rovered before.

Now that I'm on the subject, couples at BYU bug me in another way.

Other than The Red Rover of course.

The Less-than-prudent-smooch.

I know this ^ is what you're thinking it looks like, but to me, it looks more like this.

Except less appetizing.


  1. I feel your pain Tucker. I think the "less-than-prudent smooch" is the bane of existence for all of us who don't have someone to less-than-prudently-smooch, and also probably a large majority of the people who do. It's universally annoying.

  2. ANYONE who walks that slow deserves to be red-rovered, and in a perfect world there would be no crowded hallways of people walking slowly when you are going to be late.

  3. Red ROVER!@! That was awesome! You slay me with your disdain for the kissing. Someday my friend you will know the greatness of it all. But, I will concede that constant public kissing gets a bit old.

  4. . . . Send Tucker right over.
    And you wouldn't be gentle, I imagine.

  5. I wonder if I should worry that you ALWAYS crack me up. What does that say about me? I have always loved red-rover... in all its arm-breakyness.

  6. I love the Red Rover part of this.
    Also, I was just complaining about this earlier today.
    Especially in the Marb -_-

  7. Hey dude, why was your roommate so unhappy?