So two weeks before this project was due, I don't have a book yet, and I was reading the syllabus desperately searching for a loophole. (Not starting the project half a month early mind you, just looking for loopholes)
I found it. Never in the description of the essay does it say to actually READ the book. I thought myself quite clever. I could just not read the book that my professor had forced upon me, and write an educated thesis analysis!
Many of you are probably asking, "Umm, Tucker, you cannot write a report on a book you never read!"
To you I respond "Children, children... this is what Wikipedia was inVENTed for."
Two nights before the project was due, (I'm really becoming a good student up here. It's probably proximity to all these stinkin' mormons) I start my essay. Kinda but not really. I start reading a thesis analysis on Wikipedia, and it turns out that Guns, Germs, and Steel is really a dumb book. I had a really tough time starting on my essay the next day, and naturally, I called my mother, who knows everything.
She gave me some of the greatest advice ever. Write a satire of the essay. Write the mocking sarcastic essay you wish you could, then write the real one.
I believe I will be doing this for every essay I write for the rest of my life.