A caustic yet humorous, sarcastic yet awesome, satirical yet special look into the mind of Tucker

A caustic yet humorous, sarcastic yet awesome, satirical yet ... special look into the mind of Tucker

Thursday, November 18, 2010

What did you expect?

At BYU there is a lot of PDA, there's a lot of dating, and there's a lot of marriage. It is not uncommon to see people kissing or otherwise... occupied.... around campus. Yesterday blew my mind a little bit. There was an issue in the middle of a major walkway. I took it upon myself to solve the issue. I think everyone's thoughts went something like this.

Other guy: *Man I love it when she wears strawberry lipgloss. It's kinda fun to slurp off. That cherry stuff is sick. And the menthol flavor makes me wanna gag... Whoa she's getting aggressive. She must like the new cranberry-apple flavored Tic-Tacs*

Other girl: *Oh. My. GOSH. Is that the new Tic-Tac flavor??? What's it called again.... ummmm CRAPPLE!!! Yeah that's what it's called. I haven't tried it yet, but this is almost as good. Just a little wetter. I'll ask him if I can borrow some. Oh wait, that would require me to stop kissing him. I'll just reach in his back pocket and grab them*

Other guy: *I really hope that's her hand in my pocket. Would it be awkward to open my eyes and check? Yeah that'd be too awkward, I might as well just assume it's her*

Tucker: *That's sick-nasty. Do they not REALIZE there are 300 people walking past here per minute? They must've been here for at least 2 minutes, they're getting kinda aggressive. This is actually kinda entertaining to watch. The looks on people's faces are priceless. WHOA I THINK SHE JUST PUT HER HAND IN HIS BACK POCKET.*

I non-chalantly walk over there noticing the scene about as much as everyone else (aka STARING) then I bump into the guy from the side. His lips were jerked from hers, but her hands were still in his pockets. There was some awkward squawking, a little bit of drool flew, and there were several indignant looks. I apologized with a quick muttered "sorry" and proceeded to American Heritage as if nothing had happened.


  1. Tucker...you slay me!!! Way to be the one man chastity patrol!

  2. Haha, I can just picture this.... Yikeess!!

  3. Mmmm - I think I will go find some new lip gloss and tic tacs!

  4. Nice! That's why you are so loveable :)